Loving Kindness

Classic Loving Kindness

A MEDITATION ON GROWING COMPASSION AND FRIENDLINESS

When I was first introduced to the concept of ‘loving kindness’ or ‘metta’ meditation early in my practice, I thought to myself Ummm, no thanks, I didn’t come to this practice to learn some sappy way of treating others; I’m doing this so I can stop being so stressed and anxious and unhappy all the time.

Turns out loving kindness practice can be just the antidote to feeling stressed and anxious and unhappy – and here’s why.

Firstly, when we cultivate kindness (using a series of meaningful phrases), usually the first person we direct those intentions towards is ourselves! When was the last time you were offered well wishes for your happiness, safety, peace or health? With loving kindness practice, you can direct these affirmations to yourself all day every day if you want to (and no one would ever know) – and it’s surprising just how powerful the practice can be.

But what I’ve found to be even more uplifting is when I take those same intentions and direct them outwardly. Get out of my head and my own preoccupations with me, myself and I, and deliberately focus on others. Those I love and those I don’t; those I know a little and those I’ll never ever meet.

For me, THIS is the soul warming sunshine that makes those hard, sticky emotions malleable and therefore manageable.

And so it turns out a bit of selfish compassion makes the perfect companion.

Why don’t you give it a try.

Welcome everybody.  Today we’ll be practicing classic loving kindness but before we do, let’s first check in with where we’re at both mentally and physically.

Adjusting our bodies, wriggling the toes, shrugging the shoulders and stretching the neck.

Closing our eyes and taking some big deep breaths, filling up the lungs and pushing out the air two or three times. And just letting the breath return to its innate rhythm.

And if there’s tension in the body, noticing where it’s at; making a mental note but allowing it to be there. It won’t always be there, it’s just visiting for now.

And as we begin the practice of metta or loving kindness, it might be useful to first place your hand on your heart, or your chest, which may help you to feel more genuine in offering warmhearted friendliness.

So let’s begin with ourselves. Directing kind, compassionate thoughts inward.

May I be well and happy.

May I find peace.

May I feel grateful.

May I experience joy.

Repeating the phrases to ourselves, feeling the breath, and noticing what feelings arise through the process.

May I be well and happy.

May I find peace.

May I feel grateful.

May I experience joy.

Let’s now bring to mind someone we hold dear, like a best friend or a sibling; or someone we look up to. Place your hand on your heart and this time repeat the phrases outwardly.

May you be well and happy.

May you find peace.

May you feel grateful.

May you experience joy.

Noticing the difference we feel in sending these well wishes to a loved one, breathing in and out as we sit with the phrases.

May you be well and happy.

May you find peace.

May you feel grateful.

May you experience joy.

We can now recall a person who we don’t know very well, who we know by face but perhaps not by name. Someone for whom we have no real feelings at all. But try picturing the finer details of their face.

May you be well and happy.

May you find peace.

May you feel grateful.

May you experience joy.

Sending kind thoughts unconditionally, knowing we won’t likely receive anything in return. And that’s OK.

May you be well and happy.

May you find peace.

May you feel grateful.

May you experience joy.

If you’ve dropped your hand, it might be wise to place it back on your chest. For we’ll now bring to mind someone who we find challenging. If you’re new to this practice, start with someone who is mildly irritating or unpleasant. And if you’ve been practicing a while, you might feel ready to choose someone who you have a really hard time with.

And with as little or as much sincerity as you can bring, send them your well wishes.

May you be well and happy.

May you find peace.

May you feel grateful.

May you experience joy.

Sitting with the feelings that come up for you; either pleasant or unpleasant. Just observing and accepting whatever is there.

May you be well and happy.

May you find peace.

May you feel grateful.

May you experience joy.

And to all other beings on Earth; human and non-human, and even on planets we’ve not yet discovered.

May we all be well and happy.

May we all find peace.

May we all feel grateful.

May we all experience joy.

Well done everyone. The rest of the session is now yours to savour in silence however you wish. Take the energy of kindheartedness that we’ve created and enjoy that and the breath for as long as you need.

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