I was not …ready for it
We had a plan. We were ready. We were confident in the process. When Taylor Swift announced she was finally coming back to Australia four albums and a pandemic later, the joy was real!
To celebrate the melody and lyrics that got me through covid, among thousands of others who know exactly what I’m talking about, this concert really meant something.
So when my friend got tickets. And my daughter got tickets. And I and several others missed out on tickets – the concert of emotions was something I didn’t fully prepare for.
Looking back however, all is not lost! The experience provides goldmine of insight into our emotional lives. Even without a golden ticket, there is still plenty of treasure to be found (that will never be resold on eBay for triple the price.)
The prize? Emotional awareness that will serve us and our loved ones indefinitely into the future.
Taylor Swift tickets – a setlist of emotions
Reflecting on the experience, here are some of the emotions that arose, brought forward information, and receded during the process of trying to buy Taylor Swift tickets.
Excitement – which helps us access hope and delight – came forward a week before tickets went on sale, as I imagined finally seeing Taylor, hearing the music, and being in the crowd at the stadium.
Anxiety – which helps us prepare to meet our tasks and deadlines – came forward to make sure my credit card details were up to date and I knew my Ticketek login ahead of time.
Fear – which helps us respond to change and novelty in the present – came forward to keep me alert to changes in the ticketing page while waiting to advance in the queue.
Sadness – which helps us let go and relax when things that aren’t working – came forward to help me accept the fact that there were not nearly enough tickets for the number of people trying to get them and that the reality may well be I would miss out.
Anger – which helps us know and stand up for what we value – came forward when the ticketing system – after waiting hours to get in – failed to give adequate time for seat selection, payment details, and security checks – and timed out just as we and several friends also trying to get tickets – went to push submit.
Envy – which helps us know our desires and challenge inequity – came forward with the realisation that my 13-year-old daughter would get to go and I wouldn’t! (Not fair! I’m the bigger fan! I was a fan first!)
Shame – which helps us uphold behaviours we’ve agreed to – came forward wagging its finger about the envy I was feeling towards my daughter. It thought I should be happy that she got a ticket even when I didn’t.
Gratitude – which helps us access thanks and appreciation – came forward when, even after securing tickets for themselves, friends stayed online to see if they could also secure a ticket for me.
Grief – which helps us mourn that which is lost forever – came forward to help me accept the eventual loss and honour my love and connection to Taylor Swift and her music.
and lastly…
Hope – which helps us look to the future with happiness and optimism – came forward once more with the possibility of securing a resale ticket closer to the date.
So whilst devastation and the roller coaster of emotions was not what I wanted, I’m grateful the experience could deepen my understanding of emotions, their fluidity, their intelligence, and their impermanence.
Forty-eight hours later I’m back to feeling at peace.
